How to Help a Lonely Elderly Parent
Loneliness is one of the most common worries families bring to me. Your mum or dad may say they’re “fine”, but you can hear in their voice that the days feel long. The good news is that small, regular contact can make a big difference.
Why loneliness matters
Loneliness isn’t just about feeling sad. Research has linked it to poorer physical and mental health in later life. It can creep up after a bereavement, a move, giving up driving, or friends becoming less mobile themselves. Many older people feel they shouldn’t complain, so they keep it to themselves.
Signs your parent may be lonely
- Calling you more often, or keeping you on the phone for longer
- Not wanting you to leave when you visit
- Going out less, or giving up activities they used to enjoy
- Seeming low, flat, or less interested in things
- Talking a lot about the past, or about people who have died
Practical ways to help
1. Make contact regular and predictable
A short call at the same time every day can mean more than a long visit once a month. Having something to look forward to gives the day a shape.
2. Ask for their help and advice
Feeling useful is a powerful cure for loneliness. Ask for a recipe, their opinion on a decision, or help with something they’re good at.
3. Make video calls easy
If they have a tablet or smartphone, set up video calling and write simple step-by-step instructions. Seeing grandchildren’s faces can lift a whole week.
4. Look for local groups and activities
There are lunch clubs, coffee mornings, exercise classes, faith groups, choirs and community centres across Cardiff and the Vale of Glamorgan. Libraries are a good place to ask. Dewis Cymru lists local groups and services across Wales, and charities such as Age Cymru can point you to what’s nearby.
5. Help with the first step
Walking into a new group alone can feel daunting at any age. Offering to go with them the first time, or arranging a lift, can be the difference between “maybe” and going.
6. Try a telephone friendship service
Some charities run free telephone friendship lines and regular friendly calls for older people. These can be a lovely extra point of contact between visits.
7. Consider a regular companion
A befriending or companionship visit gives your parent someone to chat with, go for a coffee with, or do the shopping with, every week. It also gives you peace of mind that someone is popping in when you can’t.
Independence is the real gift
Slowly losing your independence is one of the hardest stages of life. Helping someone get it back is the biggest gift you can give, and it is at the heart of everything I do at My Way Companions.
When my parents and in-laws wanted to go on holiday to Portugal but felt too nervous to travel on their own, putting the right support in place gave them the confidence to go. You can read about it in my first news post. Feeling capable again is often the best answer to feeling lonely, and it gives the whole family peace of mind too.
Be patient
If your parent turns down your ideas at first, try not to take it personally. Pride and worry about being a burden are very common. Plant the seed, and come back to it another time. If they are reluctant to accept help, you might find my post on what to do when an elderly parent refuses help useful.
How I can help
I offer friendly companionship and befriending visits, check-in calls and days out for older people in Cardiff, Penarth and Barry. We might go for a coffee, a walk along the seafront, or simply have a good chat over a cup of tea at home.
Your first 30-minute visit is free. Call me on 07752 517203 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm), email info@mywaycompanions.co.uk, or send me a message.
Jazmin