10 Signs Your Elderly Parent Needs Help at Home
When you love someone, it can be hard to notice the small changes, and even harder to know what to do about them. I care for my own parents and parents-in-law, so I know that worry well. Here are ten gentle warning signs to look out for, and some practical next steps.
The signs to look out for
1. Post is piling up
Unopened letters, bills that haven’t been paid, or reminders they don’t remember getting can be an early sign that everyday admin is becoming too much.
2. The fridge tells a story
Very little food, out-of-date food, or the same few things every visit may mean shopping and cooking have become difficult. Weight loss is worth noticing too.
3. The house looks different
If someone who always kept a tidy home is now struggling to keep on top of it, it is often because it has become physically tiring, not because they have stopped caring.
4. They are going out less
Dropping out of a club, church, mosque or coffee morning they used to enjoy, or no longer going to the shops, can be a sign of low confidence, worry about falling, or loneliness.
5. They seem lonely or low
Longer phone calls than usual, or no phone calls at all, being reluctant for you to leave, or seeming flat and quiet can all point to loneliness. I’ve written more about how to help a lonely elderly parent.
6. Missed appointments
Forgetting GP or hospital appointments, or finding it hard to get there, is a common sign that some support would help.
7. Changes in how they look
Wearing the same clothes several days running, or less attention to washing or grooming than usual, may mean these tasks have become harder.
8. Bumps, bruises and near misses
Unexplained bruises, a fall they mention in passing, or scrapes on the car can suggest balance, eyesight or confidence are changing. Mention any falls to their GP.
9. Repeating themselves or getting confused
Everyone forgets things. But if you notice them repeating the same story, getting muddled about days, or losing track of conversations more often, it is worth speaking to their GP.
10. They tell you, in their own way
“I don’t bother going into town any more.” “The days are long.” Older people often hint rather than ask. Listen for those little comments.
What to do next
- Talk, gently. Choose a calm moment and ask how things are going, rather than listing what you have noticed. If they are reluctant, my post on what to do when an elderly parent refuses help may be useful.
- Book a GP check-up. Some changes, such as confusion or tiredness, can have a medical cause that can be treated.
- Ask the council for an assessment. In Wales, anyone who may need care and support can ask their local council for an assessment. In Cardiff, that is Cardiff Council; in Penarth and Barry, it is the Vale of Glamorgan Council.
- Look up local services. Dewis Cymru lists wellbeing services, groups and activities across Wales.
- Start small. Help doesn’t have to mean a big change. A weekly visit, a check-in call or a helping hand with the shopping can make a real difference, and helps people stay independent for longer.
If you are ever worried that someone is in immediate danger, call 999.
How I can help
I offer friendly companionship visits, check-in calls, help with shopping and appointments, and light home help for older people in Cardiff, Penarth and Barry. I don’t provide personal care, such as washing, dressing or medication, but I’m happy to work alongside existing carers. You can read more on my services page.
Your first 30-minute visit is free. Call me on 07752 517203 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm), email info@mywaycompanions.co.uk, or send me a message.
Jazmin